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A Good Friend to Me

Sometimes I just can't control my thoughts and no medication's ever made them stop.
All I think about is everything I'm not instead of everything I got.

Cause sometimes I just feel like I'm a freak.
When I wake up, I just don't like what I see.
All the way from my head right down to my feet.
I wish that I thought differently.

Another day, the voice inside my head that's telling me I'm okay.
Entertain it for a second, then I push it away.

I'm scared they're all laughing, so I make the joke first.
If I beat 'em to the punchline, then I can't get hurt. Right?

I don't know how to be a good friend to me, but I swear to God I'm trying.

A Smile On Your Face

Yesterday felt like my first day working but now I'm not the youngest on the clock.
Been a while since days were just for burning and it's been a while since I threw back a shot.

Don't wanna look back and thinking I could've done this or I could've tried that.
Don't wanna look back cause I know it's going by fast.

I'ma call my mother.
It's been a while since I've been home.
Take a trip home and see all the lights in Jakarta.
Get lost in the traffic just to see what I can find.
So when it's my time, I'm smiling when I die.

There's been a couple times that I've fell in love but a couple times just ain't enough.
There's been a couple joints that I could've shared but I guess I gotta start somewhere.

Her

Sometimes life just slips in through a back door and carves out a person and makes you believe it's all true.
And now I've got you, but you're not what I asked for.
If I'm honest, I know I would give it all back for a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two.
For the girl that I knew.

Who'll be reckless, just enough.
Who'll get hurt, but who learns how to toughen up when she's bruised.
And then she'll get stuck.
And be scared of the life that's inside her.
Growing stronger each day 'til it finally reminds her.
To fight just a little, to bring back the fire in her eyes.
That's been gone, but used to be mine.